I have always lived with the unvoiced opinion that when life gets bumpy you start posting. Now for anyone who’s not a horse person this may be confusing… but to all the equestrians and horse lovers abound we know it’s the truth. That’s the best part of horses- while they’re giving you joy and sanity they are also teaching you about life.
No one truly likes to sit the trot, ride out the bumpiness, when we all know if we just rise on the 2nd beat it makes things easier. Well I find that’s how life goes too- much easier to make it through the bumps when you get relief in between and on the second beat. This relief in everyday life usually comes from friends, laughter, your family or a stranger buying you coffee perhaps. It doesn’t matter where the posting comes in just that it gives a reprieve from the hammering of life on your body.
It’s having that partner to do the dishes while you just sit for a minute or someone to hold the baby so you can enjoy your coffee without trying to pull a circus stunt and drink your coffee three feet to your left while still holding a grabby infant.
It just makes sense … when life gets bumpy we start posting.
Horse metaphors are my favourite in the world- just ask my previous staff of all the conversations, emails and text messages about this very same topic. It’s my quest to collect all the dorky and so true equestrianisms.
It’s like working in the round pen with a new horse and then when you step out of the round pen and into regular day interactions you spend a lot of time talking yourself out of round penning the snotty teenager talking s*** to his buddies about the girl he is taking out Friday night. The horse person in you just can’t stand the disrespect emanating off them. It’s the life skills that transfer between the two I find.
Now that I’ve got myself riled up thinking of roundpenning some
Of the the youth, and some adults, I know I am going to leave you with a few of my favourite equine – human related life tips.
1.) Horses are just like toddlers. They will give it everything they got but you have to expect the language barrier to cause frustration and sometimes even melt downs. Speak their language to ease it.
2.) You can’t keep kicking your horse with spurs on and expect a quick answer after- eventually the horse will block you out. Speak softly and ask appropriately.
3.) Be tough but fair, that way the horse is never unsure and the direction can always be clear.
4.) Sometimes you get bucked off… You have to get back on and keep trying if you are going to get the partnership you want. (Suitable for life lessons and marriages I think)
Planning is a great tool, although I am sure Josh would tell you it is my downfall because as soon as an idea is out in the open it means my planning can start! I love planning, I like the process of working out the troubles in my mind or for the big projects drawing them out, in fact I think disaster management should have been my fortay.
Seeing as we only have one truck up here, on the edge of the continent, I have been feeling more house bound…errr RV bound… then usual. This feeling really tightened when it looked like the transmission was done in the truck and we were stranded without a vehicle for days on end! We walked, ALOT, and the dogs loved it and I think Emma did too… only I tired of walking the groceries back. So on one of these walks I spoke up, I told Josh I feel like I’ve lost the feeling of home I’ve been searching for, for so long. He took it pretty well, however I felt I needed to explain that while I was working on forming our home in my mind and building it without a physical landscape to officially call home I have always felt the draw of the Cariboo as my true “home”. Now to be told that the feeling of home has been without him in it for so long is not necessarily fair I suppose, but wherever my boots have landed, where horses have taken me or planes flown me to… it has always been the Cariboo I refer to as home. It is where my dog always felt he could wander, my horse could graze and I loved the feeling I got driving through the gate… it’s the feel of home.
So, once Josh dropped the idea that we should use my allotted acres my parents have always offered me, to build a house at the ranch, my heart felt full and I realized my searching for home was waiting for him to realize home was where I always dreamed it was, in the rolling hills of the Cariboo and with him and Emma it meant so much more as HOME than he could ever know.
To bring the feeling of home together with the mental building of home is a huge bonus but to know you get to build part of it as a partnership with the love of your life is truly a gift. So know I sit planning our physical home while still trying to build the mental and emotional home that I hope will draw our children back to us just as my parents built for me and my sisters. I was recently told that it is up to me to build my feeling of home, but I truly believe that family is what builds the home… the sense of safety and support builds ties that cannot bound you. The landscape you dream of and retreat to for mental repair is where you long to be in the hills and misty mornings. It is part of the feeling of home to build on and establish in our lifetime for our children to come.
– AJM, seeker of the feeling of home.
Where my dog can wander and my horse can graze.
Where my dog can wander and my horse can graze.
I used to tell my clients that working with horses is like working with a toddler…they can’t verbally speak to you so it’s a bit of a guess situation sometimes. Well! How worlds collide and change so quickly! Now I find myself using the same skills I use with horses with my new baby- odd parenting style ? or just good optimization and use of prior skill set? I like to think the latter because horses have always been my go to for understanding the world; it’s a simpler world when it just fight or flight instinct that drives you. However, it is this world where I find my comfort in knowing that things will be okay when I feel like I am not following the best parenting method for any given day.
As I type this my daughter quietly swings in her baby swing (for now, here’s hoping I didn’t just jinx my luck) and I can’t help but wonder what is running through her mind. Most likely with babies it is hunger, dirty diapers or sleepy but is that always the case? Lets be honest, sometimes our little ones are just uncomfortable in how they are sitting/ laying or are bored of not moving and just like the horse who can only act out of a fight/ flight instinct, or don’t know what we are asking, use their only method to get a change: acting out. Whether this acting out is crying (or more dangerous actions in the horse( we as the parents of both need to adapt our schedule to match theirs. THIS fact right there, that has just come out of my own mouth, is what I struggle with the most as a new mom sometimes- realizing that my time is not longer my own. What do you mean I can’t leisurely drink my coffee on the porch till I feel like I should go back to work?! Or how I can’t ride for hours on end till the sun sets …oh, how those days are missed sometimes.
Till I can bring my little one along with me on more adventures, I realize I will continue to use the skill set from before, from the equestrian/ ranching world, to understand and adjust to raising a beautiful little girl.
I would love to hear what skill set you find yourself using while your worlds of parenting and your passions collide, send me a message or a comment!