Plans make it all easier…

Planning is a great tool, although I am sure Josh would tell you it is my downfall because as soon as an idea is out in the open it means my planning can start! I love planning, I like the process of working out the troubles in my mind or for the big projects drawing them out, in fact I think disaster management should have been my fortay.

Seeing as we only have one truck up here, on the edge of the continent, I have been feeling more house bound…errr RV bound… then usual. This feeling really tightened when it looked like the transmission was done in the truck and we were stranded without a vehicle for days on end! We walked, ALOT, and the dogs loved it and I think Emma did too… only I tired of walking the groceries back. So on one of these walks I spoke up, I told Josh I feel like I’ve lost the feeling of home I’ve been searching for, for so long. He took it pretty well, however I felt I needed to explain that while I was working on forming our home in my mind and building it without a physical landscape to officially call home I have always felt the draw of the Cariboo as my true “home”. Now to be told that the feeling of home has been without him in it for so long is not necessarily fair I suppose, but wherever my boots have landed, where horses have taken me or planes flown me to… it has always been the Cariboo I refer to as home. It is where my dog always felt he could wander, my horse could graze and I loved the feeling I got driving through the gate… it’s the feel of home.

So, once Josh dropped the idea that we should use my allotted acres my parents have always offered me, to build a house at the ranch, my heart felt full and I realized my searching for home was waiting for him to realize home was where I always dreamed it was, in the rolling hills of the Cariboo and with him and Emma it meant so much more as HOME than he could ever know.

To bring the feeling of home together with the mental building of home is a huge bonus but to know you get to build part of it as a partnership with the love of your life is truly a gift. So know I sit planning our physical home while still trying to build the mental and emotional home that I hope will draw our children back to us just as my parents built for me and my sisters. I was recently told that it is up to me to build my feeling of home, but I truly believe that family is what builds the home… the sense of safety and support builds ties that cannot bound you. The landscape you dream of and retreat to for mental repair is where you long to be in the hills and misty mornings. It is part of the feeling of home to build on and establish in our lifetime for our children to come.

– AJM, seeker of the feeling of home.

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Where my dog can wander and my horse can graze.

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Where my dog can wander and my horse can graze.

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When two worlds collide…

I used to tell my clients that working with horses is like working with a toddler…they can’t verbally speak to you so it’s a bit of a guess situation sometimes. Well! How worlds collide and change so quickly! Now I find myself using the same skills I use with horses with my new baby- odd parenting style ? or just good optimization and use of prior skill set? I like to think the latter because horses have always been my go to for understanding the world; it’s a simpler world when it just fight or flight instinct that drives you. However, it is this world where I find my comfort in knowing that things will be okay when I feel like I am not following the best parenting method for any given day.

As I type this my daughter quietly swings in her baby swing (for now, here’s hoping I didn’t just jinx my luck) and I can’t help but wonder what is running through her mind. Most likely with babies it is hunger, dirty diapers or sleepy but is that always the case? Lets be honest, sometimes our little ones are just uncomfortable in how they are sitting/ laying or are bored of not moving and just like the horse who can only act out of a fight/ flight instinct, or don’t  know what we are asking, use their only method to get a change: acting out. Whether this acting out is crying (or more dangerous actions in the horse( we as the parents of both need to adapt our schedule to match theirs. THIS fact right there, that has just come out of my own mouth, is what I struggle with the most as a new mom sometimes- realizing that my time is not longer my own. What do you mean I can’t leisurely drink my coffee on the porch till I feel like I should go back to work?! Or how I can’t ride for hours on end till the sun sets …oh, how those days are missed sometimes.

Till I can bring my little one along with me on more adventures, I realize I will continue to use the skill set from before, from the equestrian/ ranching world, to understand and adjust to raising a beautiful little girl.

 

 

I would love to hear what skill set you find yourself using while your worlds of parenting and your passions collide, send me a message or a comment!