Until recently I have always known home is in the Cariboo. It is the walls of an old ranch house and the hills that roll down to meet the Fraser River in British Columbia.
This knowledge of home never waivered, and in some ways still to this day doesn’t, so when people would ask where I was from I would proudly state it. I even remember being asked on my first solo trip- going to work at a kids camp in upstate New York when I was 19 years old- where I was from. I proudly squared my shoulders, looked them in the eyes and smiled and said… “Quesnel.” In my mind I didn’t need to say British Columbia, Canada nor that it was 9 hours north of a major city. It was just where it was and that was that. Well, to my soon to be friend, it meant nothing and could have been in Antarctica for all they knew, but to me, it meant home. The more I travelled, the better I got at telling people where I was from but this story of naïve pride in where I was from always sticks out in my mind.
This innate sense of home means safety, a place to escape the confines of societal pressures and the social issues that life throws at you. “Home” was my escape from a world that sometimes felt overwhelming to me, yet it is a world I have always craved to explore. As I pushed out of home and explored the world from Vancouver to Bangkok, and Europe to every small town in New Zealand and Australia I found that what home meant to many varied. Today I am still drawn to my childhood home, a place I one day hope that my own little family can find a way to fit our lives into the ranch but now I find I am navigating the world to fit my idea of home into an ever changing experience.
From new motherhood with a beautiful daughter and husband-to-be, to the rugged NorthWest Coast of British Columbia I am learning to create home wherever our feet land and to involve my life of horses and love of the country in whatever world we create. A feat that is not always easy, nor that always feels possible.
So as I sip my morning coffee and hear the soft beat of the baby swing and the pitter patter of rain outside I wish you a good day and best wishes as the search to Find the Feeling of Home continues.